guru's life watch

2009-06-17T15:04:00.000-07:00

"He's only kind of cute," she declares. "What does THAT mean?" asks her confused friend.

"It wouldn't take too much to bump him to ugly."

2009-05-08T10:42:00.000-07:00

"He's one of those guys that if you talk to him for half an hour you think he knows it all," he explains to his friend.

"But if you talk to him for an hour, you realize he only knows about half an hour."

2009-04-03T20:22:00.000-07:00

"Do you remember me?" she asks him cautiously. He smiles.

"I remember you every time I see you!"

2009-02-23T11:05:00.000-08:00

She admires his tattoos. "They're the names of my kids!" he declares proudly.

"Wow!" she exclaims, "it's a good thing you didn't marry the Octomom!"

2009-01-28T15:55:00.000-08:00

"I wore a button down shirt AND buttoned it!" he declares proudly.

"Of course I still didn't tuck it in," he admits, "but one step at a time!"

2009-01-09T18:12:00.000-08:00

"I'll just have to finish the report on Monday," she discloses. "What was it?" asks her co-worker.

"How to Improve Time Management."

2009-01-06T15:25:00.000-08:00

"They need to attach breathalyzers to cell phones!" she exclaims. "Why?" asks one of her curious friends.

"So people stop drunk-dialing me!"

2008-12-29T22:57:00.000-08:00

"That ride is so scary!" he animates to his friends.

"I even have to hang on with my toenails!"

2008-12-16T16:38:00.001-08:00

"Every Christmas Eve, my father took us to the drugstore to get supplies," she reminisces.

"But every time we got back home, we had just missed Santa Claus!"

2008-12-05T15:24:00.000-08:00

"Do you know what she's giving you for your birthday tonight?" She asks. "Yeah... well..." He blushes.

"Well... that was subtle."

2008-11-17T13:22:00.000-08:00

"My family is strange," he admits.

"If they use the f-word in the middle of the word, they think it's proper English."

2008-11-11T16:21:00.000-08:00

"I'm in a same sex relationship," he declares to his astonished group of friends.

"I've been having the same sex with the same woman for the last 23 years!"

2008-10-21T20:50:00.000-07:00

"I don't mind them asking all those questions," she laments.

"It's having to answer them that bugs me."

2008-10-17T13:59:00.000-07:00

"He's kind and sweet... and so cute!" she gushes. "You got a new boyfriend?!" her friend jumps in enthusiastically.

"No, a dog!"

2008-10-16T12:54:00.000-07:00

"I can't believe you still work there," his incredulous friend declares. "Well," he explains...

"Just 'cause they pay me to sit there doesn't actually mean I work."

2008-10-15T15:53:00.000-07:00

"I want you to teach my team how to do it" he explains to the trainer.

"Just not enough to pass the test."

2008-10-06T07:57:00.000-07:00

"She's the worst cleaning lady," she laments. "Then why do you keep using her?" asks her friend.

"Because she's so reliable."

2008-10-05T20:06:00.000-07:00

She is enraptured by her own conversation. "The play is about a narcissistic writer who cannot get any work, so she writes herself into a tragic love story..." Her friend nods in understanding.

"So it's autobiographical."

2008-10-04T21:21:00.000-07:00

"He's cute," she tells her friend, as he walks on by. "Not top-of-my-list cute," she explains...

"But definitely still in the running."

2008-09-25T12:33:00.000-07:00

"My brother can't seem to find himself," she explains. Her friend ponders that thought for a moment.

"Has he tried looking in the mirror?"

2008-09-11T12:35:00.000-07:00

"Today is a day we should never forget," he exclaims. "Forget what?" she asks back.

"Nevermind"

2008-08-15T09:47:00.000-07:00

He drives past in a fury, with a "Kerry for President" bumper sticker prominently displayed.

Work isn't the only thing he's late for.

2008-04-08T12:01:00.000-07:00

"Well, we have a 50/50 chance" she resolves, as they angst over their problem.

"We're either right or we're wrong."

2008-03-23T12:04:00.000-07:00

"We love watching that show!" she exclaims with glee. "It's stupid!" he quickly replies.

"Well," she retorts, "I didn't say we watch it sober."

2007-09-22T14:54:00.000-07:00

He stares at his reflection in the mirror,
taking inventory of the years on his face.

Sighing, he touches his stomach
and walks off.