Because it is such a big time for so many different people (with Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanzaa and New Years just to name a few) the effect is so amplified. It’s a very good time for many people, with family gatherings and vacations… but for so many others, it represents a time of emptiness or even deep sadness.

“I miss him/her”
This might be the first big holiday without someone special. It may be through a death, divorce or even just being separated by miles; in either case, that person isn’t here. That can be a real downer, especially if you know they’re not coming back, but take comfort in the power of the past. It holds within it wonderful memories, and the fact that someone special was a part of it. To have never had that would be far emptier.

And don’t forget about the other 6 billion people out there. True they will never replace the one you miss, but don’t let your sadness miss out on your chance to know someone who is literally one-in-six-billion.

“I can’t afford to give”
Sometimes we get so caught up in the idea of giving that we limit ourselves to gifts… and when we can’t afford them, we feel more worthless than yesterday’s wrapping. There is so much more you can give than some possession that gathers dust. Writing a note telling someone how much they mean to you will last an eternity. Sometimes just “showing up” shows it all.

“I can’t be there”
Oh, now you’re putting all your value into physical space, are you? Don’t you realize that we are all connected wherever we are? Even if it seems nicer to be there in the same area, it’s not an all or nothing deal. Being there is “spirit” means just that. Don’t devalue one way of being there because you don’t have the other.

“It’s so over commercialized”
Companies need to make a profit, that’s their motivating factor for trying to sell to you ever chance they get. Their desperation can take them to the extremes. All you have to do is go into any store at Halloween time to see the Christmas ornaments to know exactly what that means. Yet that’s their thing, not yours. You’re the one who’s letting ugly plastic trinkets cheapen your mood. If you are determined to have real, heart-touching holidays you can. Saying “it’s too commercialized” is just an excuse for something deeper, so don’t use it.

“Is this all there is?”
This is probably one of the real root causes for your depression. The ending of a year marks a milestone that puts people in a reflective mood. If you look back at the past year and you didn’t accomplish what you thought you would, it just puts in you a rotten mood. It can make you angry and disappointed, which when directed at yourself turns into depression.

If you just leave it at that, you will have weeks of misery and no real solution. Stop that! Turn your attention towards the positive before it’s too late.

Write down all the accomplishments of the past year.
Go back to a date book or calendar if you’ve been keeping track. You might be surprised at how much you really did accomplish.

Reaffirm your goals
Since this is a reflective time, why not check in with your goals and see which is still wroth pursuing?

Set new goals
Planning ahead gets your head out of the past and looking toward the future.

Become determined to enjoy the holidays
You CAN enjoy the holidays, no matter how much your misery likes company. Even if you find little moments, you can do something you enjoy. Think creatively; free yourself from the blues. Look for the other colors out there; they’re out there. You just have to look around.